When ADHD wins – and the autistic traits become apparent

When we talk about ADHD and autism, it's easy to discuss them as two separate things, as if you either have one or the other. But that's not always how reality works.

Some people have both within them. The ADHD and the autistic traits can coexist. And when they do, in my experience, the ADHD very often wins.

ADHD chases dopamine everywhere

One simply has to imagine that if one has this complex where these two lie next to each other, then the ADHD will always win, because ADHD is all about chasing dopamine everywhere.

And it can manifest in many ways.

It could be sex. It could be arguments. It could be food. It could be recognition. It could be the race for accolades among intellectuals. In other words, anything that can create something where you can go all out. Something that provides intensity, excitement, or a feeling of being in the thick of it.

But often it happens without one actually taking care of oneself. Without noticing what one actually needs.

That's what ADHD can do. It can drive one forward. Out into the world. Into relationships. Into conflicts. Into achievements. Into the pursuit of the next thing that can get the system going.

I'm not going to argue anymore

When you get dopamine and it lodges on the receptors, you no longer need to overtrain. Then you become more normal. Then you might only train twice a week. You don't feel like arguing anymore, because you don't need the argument to start doing the washing up.

It might sound extreme, but that's actually how many describe it.

The conflict level is dropping. If one has been hypersexual, that can also calm down. Things that were previously driven by the pursuit of stimulation are no longer quite as necessary.

And then you can return to the other part of yourself.

For some, the second part is the autistic traits. And for some, it turns out that they are actually on the spectrum without knowing it.

This can, among other things, be about the way of interacting with other people.

I hear many people say they gain an enormous amount of energy from being with other people. That it's exciting to study humans in an almost wild way. What are they thinking? How do they react? What happens if I say that? What lies behind their behaviour?

If a new person arrives, ADHD can think: I want to figure her out. What is she like? How does she work?

The new human will be exciting. There is something to investigate. Something to decode. Something to be stimulated by.

But on the other hand, you can't stand it.

One gets overstimulated. One gets drained. The entire nervous system is, well, completely on edge. And even though the ADHD drives one towards the new, the exciting, and the social, the autistic part of one can afterwards be completely spent.

Behaviour changes when the ADHD switches off

When ADHD no longer dictates things in the same way, interest in other people can also change. Then it's maybe not all new people who are exciting anymore. Then they really have to be exciting.

This is an important point, because it shows how complex it can be to understand oneself when ADHD and autistic traits occur together.

One might think one is very social because one is constantly seeking out people. But perhaps it is the ADHD that is seeking stimulation. One might think one loves conflict, intensity, or a fast pace. But perhaps it is the dopamine hunt that drives it. One might think one thrives on many relationships and new impressions, while the body and nervous system are saying something else entirely.

That is why it is important to look at the whole person.

Not just on symptoms. Not just on diagnoses. And not just on how a person looks from the outside.

Internally, there can be several systems running at once. One part that seeks speed, intensity, and stimulation. And another part that needs calm, predictability, breaks, and fewer impressions.

As you begin to understand this interplay, it also becomes easier to meet yourself with a little more kindness.

Perhaps it's not about being difficult. Perhaps it's not about not knowing how to be social, regulate yourself, or make good choices.

Perhaps it's about the ADHD having been allowed to win for a long time.

And when things quiet down a bit, there’s space to discover the rest of yourself.

Get poster for printing

The poster on the behaviour and characteristics of ADHD and autism is based on the work of Kirsten Callesen (Psychological Resource Centre).

Here you can download the poster as a PDF and print it in A3 or A4.